“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”
Oscar Wilde
Moderation.
Big sigh.
That's how I feel about moderation sometimes. It can be a lot of work, depending on what needs moderation.
And here is what I think...
Everyone has "things" in their life that could use a dose of moderation, whether it is too much wine, too many reels, too much time spent on emails, work, social media, watching shows, TikTok, etc. The list can go on and on; money, eating, sex, exercise. Do you agree?
And yet, we often don't talk about these "things." Instead, we keep them to ourselves, hidden. Why? Perhaps it's embarrassment or shame or fear of what people would think if they knew of this bad habit that was hard to kick. Brene Brown says, "Shame derives its power from being unspeakable and corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change."
So what if we spoke up? What if we told a trusted friend or family member about our bad habit, our "thing?" What if we shined a light on shame and brought it out of the darkness?
I did just that. I had a bad habit of drinking wine every night. I was worried maybe I had a bigger problem on my hands. I was embarrassed. But when I started talking about it, I found out that other people were also struggling with a nightly wine/beer habit. They didn't consider themselves to be alcoholics but wanted to cut back. So I began talking about it with my sister, husband, doctor, and therapist. The more I shared, the less shame I felt, and I could focus on achieving wine-free nights. Now, it has been a process, that's for sure! And as the saying goes, progress over perfection! That is why I picked the quote above, "Everything in moderation, including moderation," because there is no way to achieve faultless moderation, so we must give ourselves grace.
I have learned so much about habits, how the brain works, and applying the necessary tools through this challenge, and I am grateful for the experience. The following resources have been beneficial: Books: How to Be a Mindful Drinker and Mindful Drinking, Apps: Reframe and Unwinding Anxiety, and Website: Club Soda.
How do you feel about examining what "thing" in your life needs moderation? Go ahead, give a big sigh! But, I invite you to try it out! Then take the next step and tell your trusted person. And if you are ready to tackle it head-on, I encourage you to check out Unwinding Anxiety, a mindfulness-based app that focuses on creating new habit loops. I write extensively about habit change in my post How to Sit with Anxiety Like Its Family.
Walking the Journey with You,
Megan
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