In An Instant.
- Megan Young
- Sep 7, 2022
- 6 min read
"But the moments that define us, that strip us down to raw bone and cartilage and build us back up: they are the tough ones....I believe how we attack those curve balls is the stuff of life; they count just as much as the good times. Perhaps there are lessons here, lessons for others who will inevitably hit the gritty pavement of life, often when they least expect it." Lee Woodruff , In An Instant A Family's Journey of Love and Healing
In an instant...your car is totaled, your feet are knocked out from under you and your wrist is shattered, you get arrested, your girlfriend breaks up with you, a business deal goes south. We all have had a moment that stops us in our tracks. More than likely we wonder - what could I have done differently? And often times these instances haunt us. This is a long post because it really struck a nerve so bare with me! The picture above is my son's car after he was in an accident. It reminded me how life can change when you least expect it!
My first memory of an "instance" came at the age of six. My family (one sister, three brothers, my mom, and dad) were all together having dinner in the dining room. Everything seemed to be fine. After dinner was over, my parents announced they were getting a divorce. WHAT? Quite honestly, I am not sure I had ever heard the word before and if so I didn't know what it meant. Some of my siblings were crying and others stormed off. I remember thinking - What should I do? What does this mean exactly? What it meant was that after that moment my life would never be the same. After that moment came more moments of which I had no control. Truth be told, I think this was the birthplace of my perfectionism. I had to control what I could and make it perfect because everything else was spinning wildly out of control. I never knew when the next shoe was going to drop as they say. However, what I learned in this hostile environment was that I had to find the good in the bad. From a very young age, I had a strong belief in God. Thank Goodness! This belief carried me through the rough times and it still does today. In every instance, I ask myself, "What does God want me to learn from this situation".
Probably my most profound instance was when I broke my wrist in an ice skating accident. I know it seems odd that a broken wrist could be that significant, but there were many factors at play. Let me set the scene...It was Friday, December 20th and I had finished up the last of my Christmas shopping, the kids were out of school for the Holidays and we wanted to do something fun and festive - ice skating of course! As we drove to the ice rink, The Cheetah Girls, "Five More Days Til Christmas" was blaring on the CD player. We debated/argued over the best place to go. We decided on Carowinds. The amusement park had set up a winter wonderland for the first time. Happily, I laced up my skates like a pro because after all I am from Ohio and I grew up ice skating. Well, not everyone grew up ice skating because the next thing you know I was hit from behind and landed on my wrist. It was awful, to say the least. The days and months to follow were even worse. As I say that, they were also the best. It is an odd paradox that out of difficult times can come the greatest joy and grace. After some time passed, I wrote a letter to God entitled, "Lessons of a Broken Wrist" and here is it...
Dear Lord,
I would like to record all the lessons I have learned since I broke my wrist. I feel like they have been many and so important. I know I will look at my wrist and it will never be exactly the same. Lord, my prayer is that I will never be exactly the same after this experience. I guess I will write it out and then try to list the lessons so I can easily see them. When I was skating that night, I was having so much fun. It was a great family evening. In an instant - literally- that changed. I looked at my kids and my first thought was I love them so much (1). Don't take them for granted (2). Next came my husband and his love and how he took care of me (3). It was one of the first times (maybe the first) in our marriage that I felt like for better or for worse really came into play. I could not do what he did for me. He feed me, bathed me and most of all loved me.
When I thought things couldn't get any worse, Christmas Eve came upon us with LICE! Another lesson, the best-laid plans can change without warning (4). We went from getting ready for Christmas Eve Mass to picking out lice and packing for the hotel. Everyone worked together. All those things I thought made Christmas special, (getting dressed up, eating dinner, the gifts,etc.) they really aren't or shouldn't be the focus (5). I remember as I laid on the couch, waiting for Steven to get back to the hotel with the gifts, I felt like Mary in a strange place waiting for Jesus to be born.
One of the biggest blows came on Christmas day when a good friend chewed me out over the lice incident. Someone I thought was one of my best friends basically kicked me when I was down. I realized it was like Jesus being betrayed by Judas and Peter(6). Anyway, during my month of being homebound, it was lonely and dark. I only had one friend who really got it. I realized that when people are hurting you need to reach out no matter how small the act(9). I also learned that we always have to be forgiving (8). Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting and it doesn't mean letting people use you as a doormat. The friend who hurt me so desperately, I had to forgive her. The anger I felt was only punishing me - not her. Anger can fester into so many unhealthy things.
Lord, I feel like I have experienced times of suffering (like when my youngest son was in the hospital as a baby) when people poured out their help and concern. That was an awesome sense of community. However, this situation was much different and I didn't feel that support at all. I know the difference was for a reason because the lack of community got me in touch with suffering - Your suffering and for those who suffer daily(9). I think if it had been all good feelings of warmth from others I would not have gotten the deep sense of what it feels like to be in need.
Finally, thank you, Lord for the guided imagery at bible study that made me see the parable of the paralyzed man in a new light (10). I pictured myself as the paralyzed man and the four men carrying me were my husband and three children. They carried me through this incident. Matthew 2:1-5 A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on.When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
Amen,
Megan
SO - With all that being said, (thank you for reading all the way to the end) scroll back up to the picture. God's light ALWAYS shines through the darkness! John 1-5......
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
Love this youtube video based on John 1-5...
P.S. The quote at the top of the page is from the beautiful and amazing story of Lee and Bob Woodruff. Bob Woodruff was ABC's World News Tonight co-anchor when he suffered a traumatic brain injury while on assignment in Iraq. It is truly the story of how one instant can alter your life forever. I read this book after the broken wrist and it has become one of my all times favorites!
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